What does it mean to break the rules?
As a lifelong rule breaker, I will encourage you to break a few of the rules you follow.
Hi friends, as 2024 is winding down, 2025 looms large on the horizon, bringing all kinds of energy, emotions, and pictures along with it, as a year will do.
I’m paying homage this week to the people who help pave the way for a new positive set of ideas and ways of living. Often these are the folks who question the prevailing authority and rules, breaking a few of those rules along the way. May we all find that part of ourselves in the coming years!
Read on for this week’s article.
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Love, Kris
Who broke the rules?
I wrote about this topic a while back: ‘Who made the rules you follow?’, examined some of the unwritten social rules that we follow, both consciously and unconsciously.
These rules are agreements by which we live our lives. As we have seen throughout human history, breaking a social rule can lead to punishment ranging in seriousness from being ostracized or shunned, to excommunication, banishment, imprisonment, or even execution.
Despite the threats of punishment, there are many who broke the rules, and thereby transformed the old agreements. Those who stepped away from the petty bureaucracy of humanity to revolutionize something new, perhaps themselves, gave to all the rest of us when they broke a few of the rules they faced.
Artists have always been in the forefront of the rule breakers, along with activists who’ve helped the culture grow, expand, and become kinder and more inclusive.
Here’s a very short list of rule breakers:
Nelson Mandela, Karen Silkwood, Bob Dylan, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Billie Holiday, Amelia Bloomer, Harriet Tubman, Bernie Sanders, Duke Ellington, Gertrude Stein, Les Paul, Rachel Carson, Lucille Ball, Miles Davis, Elvis Presley, Angela Davis, Richard Miller, Wangari Maathai, John Scopes, Fred Hampton, Jesus Christ, Mahatma Gandhi, James Baldwin, and Maya Angelou.
Don’t forget Shirley Chisholm, Henry David Thoreau, Daisy Bates, Frank Lloyd Wright, Bessie Smith, Ron Kovic, Harvey Milk, Patti Smith, Angela Davis, Frank Zappa, Virginia Woolf, Eva Mozes Kor, Julia Child, Madonna, Banksy, Lenny Bruce, George Carlin, Misty Copeland, Malcolm X, Sonia Sotomayor, Prince, The Beatles, Gloria Steinem, Alexandria Ocasio Cortez, and maybe you too.
“One has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.
Other rule breakers include:
Anyone who ever questioned the prevailing authority and became their own, in order to bring something of value to the world. Those who fight against ignorance and invalidation in order to shine a light for others, have broken social rules over and over again. Anyone who can put aside fear, prejudice, and hate in order to see the beauty in their fellow humans is a true spiritual activist and world leader.
Anyone who believes in the human spirit’s ability to grow, heal, and create a new world, despite all the naysayers to the contrary. Those who began social movements that created great changes on this planet, even while flying in the face of popular opinion. Those who know how to forgive, and do so, are often breaking social rules.
People who know how to forgive start no wars, which is breaking a great big vengeance and punishment rule.
Those who speak the truth, and anyone who faces the wrath of others by going against popular opinion in order to bring forward a greater truth. Those who risk their careers, relationships, reputations, because they cannot remain silent in the face of abuse, even if it comes from the top down.
Whenever someone can face their own fear to do something that they know is right, that person is creating something new by breaking the rules.
Think about the movies in which you were cheering for the underdog hero, the one who has to go against the grain that they may not fit well into anyway, in order to bring a new kind of world into being. This person has to go against popular opinion because they know something, have a hunch, a feeling, and just have to follow it. Nobody will listen to them, and it’s painful to watch them being turned down, shunned.
It is very hard to go against the grain, go against the crowd, but it is far harder still to live in a lie. As we are seeing today, the lies will all come out eventually. It can get pretty messy when they do.
Even though it doesn’t feel like it while living through messes, the mess and undoing is the healing. Break a few more rules please.
Some cultures on this planet throughout history would kill you just for breaking the social rules. Others would punish by shunning you, banishing you, knowing your chances of survival on your own were pretty slim. With this kind of history, it is no wonder that many people are frightened of going against the grain. Those who don’t fit into the domineering group often have a pretty rough time of it.
Many of my favorite people, including countless artists I know, simply did not fit in while growing up. If you experienced this, you know how uncomfortable this can be. It also helped you become who you are today.
Maybe you always saw things a bit differently than others, always heard that different drummer.
Some people think little girls should be seen and not heard
But I think "oh bondage, up yours!"
One-two-three-four!
— X-Ray Spex, sung by the always amazing Poly Styrene (RIP)
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Inspiration for breaking the rules
Jane Fonda and Ashton Applewhite would like us all to disobey the cultural programming to become old before our time.
I danced to this song way back when it first came out so many times!
"break a few more rules, please"!
I like to ask people "when's the last time you did something for the first time?", but I'm going to start asking "when's the last time you broke a rule that needed breaking?" thank you for the inspiration, Kris!