Notes on updating my agreements with myself
Notes on updating my agreements with myself
A conscious agreement is a beautiful thing.
Hi friends, this week’s article is about agreements, and becoming conscious of the ones we have with everyone we know, especially ourselves.
Read on for the article.
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Updating my agreements with myself
A conscious agreement is a beautiful thing.
Agreements, among other things, make the world go round.
Every aspect of life has agreements attached, both conscious and unconscious ones.
Conscious agreements include the agreement to speak the truth, and to hear that truth. This can include your communication with yourself, your body, your relationships, and social behavior, among other things.
In the midst of finding your own truth, you run into all of the Rules about being polite, which often demand that you not speak truth, at least not out loud. There are those who create a world of their own design, never mind what others here are experiencing, and do not want to hear any truths other than what they have decided is true or not true. I am sure this sounds familiar to you.
It can be a tiresome vicious circle of whose truth is real? Because we each have our own. Agreements about what is real or true begin within each one of us.
Questions I ask myself when I want to become conscious of the agreements I am part of, and how I live my daily life:
Am I (unconsciously) agreeing to be unconscious to some energy or other - ie; to not see something because it’s not nice or polite?
Do I really want to still hold onto old out of date agreements because of the experiences, memories, nostalgia, or pictures that are attached to them? To which I might also be unconscious, lol?
Am I afraid that by becoming conscious of and updating agreements I have with others that they will get angry, not like me anymore, punish me, or tell others I’m a mean bad person?
Was I included in an agreement I’m not actually in agreement to be part of, and I wanted to be seen as ‘nice’ so didn’t back out? Kind of like a passive agreement, but still in it.
Did I outgrow my agreement with ____________? (Which could be a person, a group, job, activity, way of seeing myself… etc.)
The thing about agreements is that you already have them.
You were born into them, you’ve always worked with them, consciously and not. Sometimes they help you, and sometimes they are confusing - especially if you think the agreement is about one thing, and others either won’t acknowledge that thing, constantly break the agreement, or have a completely different idea of what their agreement with you is really about.
This is where clear direct communication, in the body - ie: saying the words out loud to that person, is your responsibility. If you assume someone sees your point and understanding of the agreement between you, without direct communication, you may not be seeing it clearly.
In other words, you might just be wishfully thinking or making stuff up. If someone gets angry because the agreement wasn’t clear or each one assumed the other was saying the same thing, well - you can see the energy around that!
It becomes a big mess.
An agreement that isn’t working for you in present time, or isn’t your truth to begin with, can hold you back. For example, if you’re in an agreement to delay your own success, healing, happiness, etc., until your friends and family have theirs first, you are not living your own life.
You might be unconscious to this agreement, and spend a lot of time feeling invalidated about your inability to create what you want, while everyone else is free to have what they want. Or worse, perhaps the agreement is that nobody gets to change or have anything different.
This also works in the world - in our cultures, laws, where our taxes go, how much we are paid, what rights we have, and every other thing you can imagine.
There are people (and companies) who do not want to make a clear agreement. An unconscious cloudy agreement allows them to just make up new rules as they go. They will not honor an agreement you thought you had with them, no matter what. They might say one thing, and once they have power, do the opposite.
You may know someone who does this, and it’s generally pretty exhausting to deal with. If this person has the power in the relationship, it can be much more challenging for you. Beware of the ‘fine print’ - it’s there to fool you into thinking you’re getting a better deal than you actually are.
Agreements are something we naturally update as we grow and change.
Whenever you make a change of some kind in your life, agreements adjust all around you.
Becoming conscious has a magical way of lighting up all of those agreements you didn’t even know you were in, or part of. You’re just doing your own work on and for yourself, and suddenly something in your life changes. You end a friendship, change jobs, stop giving away your time and energy, and some people get angry.
Every agreement you make with others starts with the ones you have with yourself. We have all been programmed by an unkind and unjust economic system, corporate culture, and the lies of scarcity, to work ourselves into bad health and remain unfulfilled. To accept less because we were somehow convinced that we cannot have or don’t deserve more than that.
As people become more conscious within, they naturally reflect that into creating better agreements in the culture, and elect better leaders who are actually public servants.
Meditation, and other ways of getting to know yourself, helps you to make honest clear truthful agreements, first of all with you. It’s a great time on earth to find and practice something that helps you know the most important person in your life - yourself. Change yourself from within and you contribute to the health of the entire planet.
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Inspiration for Agreeing to have your Joy
Deciding to feel your own joy is an agreement you can make with yourself, regardless of whether others around you choose to have this for themselves, or not.
Thank you so much for being here! I hope you have a wonderful week. Love, Kris