Being Yourself vs. Being Liked
Being Yourself vs. Being Liked
Are you responsible for how others feel around you?
Hello my friends and readers!
This week’s post is about a topic that we all know about: can we choose to be true to ourselves and be ourselves, or do we need others to like us? Can we decide to like ourselves and be true to us, despite the opinions of others?
This one is deep, and it’s also personal! It’s been showing up a lot recently in readings and classes, because so many people are working on this one right now. Also, what role does social media play in all of this?
Read on for the article, and then watch my new YouTube video I made just for this topic today.
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Thank you for showing up, for reading and listening, and for the lovely feedback many of you have given me on my work.
Love, Kris
Being Yourself vs. Being Liked
In a reading with a client yesterday, a familiar theme popped up.
It’s familiar to me, familiar to my client, and so very familiar in this approval obsessed world. This particular client is a talented creative healer and teacher, a performer, someone coming from their own set of unique and interesting pictures and ideas. In taking a step in their unique way of being and doing things, this person keeps running into the energy of those who judge and sneer at their uniqueness.
This is a real buzzkill for anyone, especially when you’re trying to find your way as a creative, performer, leader, or whatever you do that comes from yourself. Being a star in your own life is your right, and your business to choose. It’s also not easy, and it’s certainly not selfish.
Personally, I think the naysaying judgy Mcjudgers are all jealous and insecure about their own stuff, and they’re all lit up by someone who’s facing the fear of the unknown and moving ahead anyway.
I know this one, and maybe you do too. Every time I’ve read this energy in any of my clients or see it in my students, what lights up for me are my own energy matches. I’ve got memories going way back to 4th grade or so, right around the time it was clear to me on some level that I wanted to be how I wanted to be, but it seemed like some of my peers thought that was weird and somehow made me unlikeable. Too bad for them, but at the time my feelings were mighty hurt sometimes.
As a result, I developed the unconscious tendency to over give, ie; give away my own energy and validation. I forgot my truth and my own strength, though it was always there helping me move forward. I forgot that I really liked and approved of myself when the peer pressure to conform and be liked came down.
What I want to thank myself for right now is the fact that I did not conform to be like the others, which I know saved me. What I did instead was try to heal all of them, lol. Happily, I’ve unlearned this behavior, deprogrammed it all out of me, or as much as I can get to so far.
We often face demands to not make others uncomfortable with our version of ourselves. According to some people, we are not supposed to be the center of our own lives, but rather think of and accommodate everyone around us before we even think of making our own agendas front and center. In other words, we’re supposed to be responsible for everyone else’s emotions about who we are being.
I am so over this. As the firstborn of six, I was over this by my late 20’s. Yes, it took that long to be over it, and another decade to start changing how I was spending my energy. We all know the airplane oxygen mask concept: put the mask on yourself before helping others. My deepest programming was to help everyone else first and make sure they were all okay before I could use whatever dregs of my own energy I had left, for myself.
Happily, I’ve moved on from that old way of holding myself back. I am so grateful and feel like all of the work I’ve done has really been worth it. What’s fun is how much more of my own energy is available to me now that I don’t have to accommodate everyone else’s needs in my space.
I’ve seen this in others too, especially the former people pleasers and over giving healers I’ve met, which is a lot of people. This is a place a lot of us are growing now on earth: how do we participate in and care about the world and other people, without losing ourselves in the process?
I know this can be done, because I’ve lived it, and seen it reflected in others. Self love is an incredibly healing energy to cultivate, and it spreads.
I’m teaching a Foundation Meditation class this coming June, 2024. This class is filled with psychic and meditation tools and information, and is a great beginning, or wonderful addition to your own practice. Read more and sign up here.
New YouTube video:
In this video, I talk about the energy and pictures around being yourself vs the demand you be liked. As a clairvoyant reader and teacher, this is one of the big pictures and energies I've been seeing for many people now. This is a very real and present time growth period for many of us!
Psychic Readings and Healings
Browse through my Clairvoyant Readings & Healings, and schedule a session. Book a session with Kris.
Inspiration for permission to be yourself
I loved Pippi Longstocking as a child! I think this is a great time to reread her books. If you’ve never done so, you’re in for a treat. Pippi Longstocking
Thank you for subscribing, and for reading! Have a gorgeous week.
Love, Kris
This is such a different time! I am an old woman who grew up without all this 'liking' business and I still have a hard time with social media...I find myself je;lous when I read all these posts until I realize it's a moment in time...not really true..all of it is a fake way to make ourselves feel better. I am a writer and have given up on all of it--self published, I am happy when I sell my books but I try not to get obsessed with marketing and all the likes, etc.... Anyway, thank you for your post.